Life of a Hypersomniac Superhero

I have a gift. No matter at what time I retire for the day, I get up at 6 in the morning. Okay, if the previous night was very tiring and I slept real late, then the most you will see me on my bed is at 8, not later than that.

This power, like all REAL superheroes (read: Batman), wasn’t a trait I had since my birth, but an acquired skill, ability. The credit of course goes to my upbringing, fifteen years of following the same hard menial routine of sleeping at 10 and getting up at 6 has etched itself deeply into my biological clock (the one that keeps track of our sleep pattern, no other clock, perverts please!).

But unlike other heroes, I don’t use my powers for others as such, I am the selfish kind. And how does it help me? Well..

1. Aesthetic Value: I don’t have dark circles under my eyes, and I remain fresh, young, and pretty…always. I don’t age.

2. Saves Energy: I stay quiet when people around me are discussing TV shows they watch while I am sleeping or things which are trending. This helps me save energy which I store as fat.

3. No Girlfriend Issues: I sleep early by blaming it on my parents (can’t reveal my secrets yet, she is no Mary Jane) which means no late night chats. And we know how talking unnecessarily to our girlfriends can lead to arguments and all. So sleep early, prevent fights.

4. No Academic Pressure: Since a day only has 24 hours, and I have to sleep for 10 hours on an average, spend the rest of the time in college and while commuting, it’s okay if I find no time to study. And therefore it is okay to score less.

5. No Hobbies: You know how hobbies are such a waste of time? I don’t have them in my schedule. I feel so cool.

 

Yes I know it is very unfair how I have all the happiness in the world while you are up all night, but understand, with awesome powers come a lot of other awesome things. 

 

P.S. – Here I feel the need to introduce a very innovative idea to all my billion readers. The idea is to mention “S” or “J” after our statements for times when one is being sarcastic or is joking, respectively. This idea was developed by my friends when they realized that some of them don’t get what the speaker is actually trying to convey. And as a result many of them started considering me as a narcissist because I used to always boast about how handsome I am, all in good humor. Afraid that my readers don’t feel the same, I unwillingly admit, this above post was an (S) all the way!

Ciao.

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8 Comments

  1. Hi, I just read your post and I loved it.😍
    I feel sleepy😴 all the time but I really dont want to sleep.I am in grade 12 and hence piled with loads of work. But unfortunately I sleep before I can finish all that and my parents keep telling me that I am not interested in studies and thats why I sleep. But its never like that.😟I am scared to eat my dinner fearing that i would sleep.Because of all this I feel really depressed. 😟
    😭I cry to myself about this.Can you please suggest me some ways to keep myself awake.
    Thanks for reading this. Please do help.🙇

    Like

    • I spent my whole 12th grade myself looking for ways to stay up till late so that I could cover all that syllabus I needed to do for my Engineering Entrance Exams, but alas.

      Although, now I am in a much better position to help you. I found out I am most sleepy between 11-1 at night, if I could just pass this time period with eyes wide open, I can stay up till 4-5AM. So the trick is, study, and as soon as you feel bouts of sleep attacking you, open up your laptop and start doing something that doesn’t bore you, or is not studies.

      During this time you can either choose to while away your time, scrolling through Facebook or 9gag walls, or pursue your hobby. I suggest you do the latter. Write if you like, code, or read about topics that interest you (animals, space travel, time travel, history, tech news). You can also spend time on Quora which is an excellent storehouse of knowledge, and opinions.

      When you feel you are not sleepy anymore, quit whatever you were doing and start studying. Get it?

      And if this isn’t helping, then nothing will, waste less time during the day and spend it with your books. You can study 4-5 hours at night, take out these extra 5 hours of studying from your daily routine and you don’t need to be up at night then!

      Hope it helps, feel free to contact me anytime you like.

      P.S. – just to be honest, it also has a lot to do with conviction. Had you been desperate for your goals, you would have stuck up on the table, taping your eyelids to your forehead until they got used to pulling full nighters. I didn’t have it too.

      Like

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