Misanthrope, are you?

“This is a cynical cynical world, man eat man, people will always be contemptuous about how far you’ve gone and what you have accomplished. They’ll give a sympathetic ear to what you have to say, they’ll commiserate in your anguish but will sneer and jeer once you turn your back on them…….”

I meet so many people saying this same thing over and over again in their own versions of it. I started speculating about people’s motivation behind what they do. And the denouement I drafted for my relentless soul was that, “people are self-interested, self-centered; everything else is complementary”.

We live for ourselves, anything other than this is delusive; which in no way is wrong. You come alone, you go alone, bla bla bla… We are here just for our self advancement, reformation and amelioration. I am writing this blog to upgrade my writing skills, and you are reading it for your furtherance.

The world works on the Boomerang principle. “What you give to the world, is what you will have back”. The world is a reflection of our own psyche. We think people are deceitful, phony, or even predatory, those are the people we attract in our sojourn of life. The more we meet such people, the more obstinate and deeply ingrained our conviction becomes. And then we go out and make an incessant declaration of our misanthropic audit of the world.

The picture of our childhood is the manifestation of the fact “Be good, do good”. All of us are taught that. Another cliche we learn about is “Love”. Our parents ensure we grow in love, spread love and do good everywhere. People can be mean, arrogant, awful, but we are all creatures (generalizing it for not just humans, all living creatures) and love binds us all. Nobody has ever understood it nor I wish to explain, but love dwells in us, all of us and that is what we live by. And no creature present on this planet is spared of it.

“I know now that people only seem to live when they care only for themselves, and that it is by love for others that they really live. He who has Love has God in him, and is in God – – because God is Love.”
– Leo Tolstoy, What Men Live by and Other Tales.

P.S.- I don’t give new ideas, I only realize what has already been said by other people before. I am a slow learner, I learn things myself and when I learn something, I write it here. That’s all I do. Forgive me if I don’t come up to your expectations, but this is who I am. 🙂

Footprints On The Sands Of Time

So, I finally sit down and write my first dissertation. One, because I don’t feel like studying(not afraid of the impending sessionals) ; two, because I have nothing better to do on this Valentine’s eve(as evident, the writer is single); three, because I am out of practice writing stuffs for over three years(except for those futile,exasperating blabberings that I email my crush and some maudlin FB posts every now and then).

There are these random musings that keep passing my mind. Since, there are so many things going on with me, evidently I have no time thinking about anyone else, so I keep judging myself. The roads I have taken so far, the choices I have made. I never blame my circumstances, they have always been favourable. It’s been just me, who has to have the answer, a progress report. No, no, the end of the year hasn’t arrived, yet I feel the need every now and then to keep a check on myself, to keep myself from going astray, as I am a person very likely to hop from one thing to another. I work on instincts, there is a thought in my mind and next moment I am doing it, no second thoughts, nothing. Life has never been easy, simple but never easy, especially if you have a mind which would never batten down its jabberings.

So I have an encounter with myself. I see myself two years ago, and now. How much I have changed! There was this fat girl(who is still a butterball by the way) with dreams, big dreams, having no plans whatsoever how to achieve them, yet all armoured with belief, to enter the battlefield. Then reality struck. How could an unexperienced sailor, a novice navigate and reach his destination without acquainting himself with the wrath of sea. A milestone to the dream, I failed to achieve. And ever since then, I’ve failed, always, everywhere. And then suddenly…. suddenly I realise how depressing this writing has become. So I swap roles. Obviously you are not interested in knowing what I have been through, you are already fighting your own war! Let me then not mourn about it and help you get charged and move towards  your intent.

Ever heard the story of a bumblebee? The pseudoscience argument of Aerodynamics states that a bumblebee cannot fly as it does not have the required capacity (in terms of wing area or flapping speed). Ignorantly defying all the laws of sane world, a bumblebee flies! A man is fettered in his own limitations. Education teaches us what we can do, and wistfully also what we cannot. When we don’t know our limitations, we go out and astound ourselves. In hindsight, we wonder if we had any limitations. The only constraint a person has are those that are self-imposed.

Follow your most intense obsessions MERCILESSLY. Breathe in them. A strong, passionate, pulsating desire will fetch you whatever you want. Do not forget to put hardwork in between. Its a tmesis, you forget to put it somewhere and the entire meaning changes to something else.

“It’s a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your Personal Legend. It prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It’s your mission on earth.”

I’m no philosopher but I believe we are all heroes! All of us. Nobody could ever live our life better than we did. I make a point, not to blame anyone for whatever happens in my life. “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul”.

So, take charge, get over the bars. Awake, arise, aspire. Shine. Shine, for thou art the sun!

“Lives of great men all remind us

We can make our lives sublime,

And, departing, leave behind us

Footprints on the sands of time”

Purpose of life

My father once told me that every man must have a purpose in life. My parents and relatives always lecture me to study and work hard for my future. The meaning of better future to them is to get married and earn money. And that is the purpose and goal they want for me to have in life. And then there are religious people who talk about salvation and reincarnation. But I dont agree. So, what’s the real purpose of life or is there none?
What if it’s true that there is no real purpose in life and we are just working too hard to find one? I guess that finding a true purpose is life we creating for ourselves.
I read this quote once “we live alone, we die alone… everything else is just an illusion”. It’s stuck into my head. Sometimes I feel why study, work and sweat if there is no real purpose and meaning in life, for just an illusion. My friend once said to me life is a journey. I thought if it is a journey then what is our destination, death, salvation or reincarnation. I wonder maybe humanity just create these fancy notions of salvation to counter its fear of death.
About 55 million people die every year, which means about 1,50,000 per day. So what if death is the ultimate truth and nothing else. Then what’s the point of all this struggle and fight in life? People always say that one should stop thinking about death and enjoy the moment, sometimes it seems like a better idea but suddenly a thought comes echoing in my mind that maybe it’s all a lie and you cannot outrun your fate (death). May be death is the only truth and no amount of friends or money or a girl for that matter, can help me avoid my fate.

Ishant Rana
MAIT New Delhi

I can only imagine

“A company so huge, stock exchange firms beg me to go public. An office, right in Times Square. A girlfriend so hot, most men jizz in their pants just by looking at her. A top of the line private jet which flies me to the most exotic locations. Ibiza, Sicily, Las Vegas, Montreal, Goa, Madrid. I would be a global citizen, getting what I want, on my terms. Basically, I would be the center and the world would revolve around me.”

If you had asked me, how do I picture myself in 2025, about 6 months ago, This is exactly what I would answer . Though, A lot has changed since then. Except for the huge company part. I still want and I know I will, build a huge company which will have my name as one of the founding partners.

In the past 6 months, I met these certain group of people which have made me realize that to be successful in life you need to understand the difference between AMBITION and INTENT. One of these words never really held a lot of meaning for me. So I set out to define these two words in separate terms and did a bit of research.

I want to be the president of Timbuktoo because everybody thinks that a president is cool. Ambition.

I want to be the president of Timbuktoo because I know I will make it a better country to live in. Intent.

These two statements suffice my attempt at making a sense out these two words.

Coming to think of it, Bill Gates did what he did not because he wanted to be the richest man on earth, but because he wanted to put a computer in every home. Steve Jobs is hailed as a genius not because he wanted the world to call him a revolutionary mind, but because he wanted to build a machine which had all the information possessed by humans kind, could be extremely easy to use and fit in a pocket.

The relationship between ambition and intent is complicated. Think of ambition as jam to your bread which is the intent. Spreading two spoonfuls of jam on your bread, you will make yourself a decent breakfast. Empty the whole jar of jam on your bread and you might end up ruining your breakfast, your morning and your day. There has to be some amount of ambition involved, to keep yourself motivated and disciplined. but you cannot let it guide you.

I think Making myself realize how I need to emphasize less on what I need to achieve, and more on why I need to achieve it, has made me climb a step on my ladder to success, the length of which is currently limiting to infinity.

Gotta get my intentions right. But, before that, fap time. Ciao.

Those long metro journeys

Out of a few things which makes Delhi what it is, has to be the Delhi Metro. There is no second thought in saying that it has become the most preferred mode of transportation for most of Delhiwallas, including me. I like to think that public facilities like the metro brings Delhi closer to worldclass cities like New York or London, and this really fills me with pride.

I write this blog on my phone as I head home. It is 6.07 PM but  it feels like 10. The crowd is comparatively less. Thank God for that! But, I forgot my headphones at home, just like always. So I think I will observe these fellow commuters and try to guess their stories. Yeah you may think that I am a judgemental piece of shit. But, wait who is being judgemental now, eh?

This guy sitting with a laptop on his lap, is unknowingly killing his future babies. Seriously bro. But on a more serious note, this guy has a maintained a constant gaze on the computer screen. Not even lifted his eyes once. What is he doing? My first guess would be porn, but the he does not have any headphones on. Probably his job is to sit in front of a computer screen all day. Look at a screen while going to work, look at a screen while at work, look at a screen while going back home from work. Training to be a computer engineer, I face similar prospects. And this is what scares me the most. I think that I will implode leading such a life. But coming to think of it I might not have a lot of choices.

So, here is another character which really catches my attention. This middle aged uncle who just won’t shut up. It had begun as a general political conversation between a couple of commuters, and this person has made it into a discourse on spirituality and how everything is “moh maya”. This guy is like some self proclaimed de motivational speaker, someone who is frustrated by his everyday life and is trying to  let it all out in severe attempts of desperation, blaming the system and the government for his plight. Some passengers join in, some look at him in disgust. I personally find it amusing, specially with the amount of Desi abuses he uses to grace the authorities.

And then I notice this cute girl, who has just boarded the train. We share a quick glance. She stands right opposite to me, and no commuter obstructs my view. Once, she is comfortable and leaning on one of those metallic poles, she pulls out her phone and stares on the screen, just like how people try to get out of awkward situations. By pulling out their phones and pretending to do something important, but all they do is stare at the screen. She catches me looking at her, again and I really need to stop looking at her. Probably she likes me, probably she thinks I am creep, probably she will report me to the metro police on the next station. So much running through my mind And then she just deboards a couple of stations later.  Whaaaaaaaaat! I thought we had something going. How could she just go. But coming to think of it, I have been through this situation so many times before. Such is the situation of busy cities like Delhi. You meet people, and a few seconds later you won’t even remember their faces, just because there are just so many faces!

Enough of this philosophical bullshit. I still have eight stations to go, and I forgot my headphones at home, just like always. *sigh*