A walk down the road

I’m walking through the lake park, my eyes experiencing aesthetic sunrise. The feet took a halt, struck by realisation. Mesmerised by the reflection of the sky in calm waves of water. I feel inept to describe sudden commotion of emotions. I look for a bench to settle on as I go weak in the knees.
On my quest to find a rusted bench with its green paint withering in a quiet corner, I see life in a strange light. I spot a group of squirrels bouncing hither thither. I observe one at a time, my heart wondering how this world looks like through the eyes of a squirrel. How do I look to it as I attempt to touch its skin and fail terribly because of its spontaneous reflexes? Can it see the water as I see it? Do the surroundings appear green to it too? Does it also feels something inside? The mind in me mocks and says, “No, Dimwit! Only you’re the one who thinks of herself as a different entity. Everything else is in sync with nature. You too are a part of it, only if you realise.”

I’m petrified by my own heart that feels conflicting emotions and a mind that taunts. I give in and pearls of water roll down my eyes. I’m like a mimosa plant open to attack. My leaves closing in, I rush back home to immerse myself in this concrete jungle, away from contemplating life. I know I can’t run forever but today I escape.


Poor words.

Hola people!
It’s been a long time since I had a conversation with you all. Today I am making this post not to bore you with my poetry but with my poor words. It’s only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. See this post is unedited and coming totally from the heart so you better get ready for some laugh riot because you know I am such a mess. Oh btw I am just accepting the fact that I am, deep down I know that you all are messed up in your life in one way or the other. Therefore, I have a few words of wisdom to share because ever since 2015 has come I have had so many ups and downs that when I was trying to find peace I came to realise that this life is pretty simple if you look at it that way. Just be aware of your actions and what you’re doing. If you’re reading, read with awareness, if you’re planning to commit a suicide do that with awareness as well. And if you know me personally, I am the least aware person who is aloof and lost in her own world of fantasy but I am learning and it’s not bad. Infact, once you’re aware of the pros and cons, you do it with much more passion. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t be a bitch. Just live with your heart. Let your mind be your heart’s slave because mind is way too calculative. Life is a flowing river and not some mathematics. And be honest. Don’t be a hypocrite. This world has enough hypocrites. Be you, the whole world will adjust. Also express yourself. Simply express. Good, bad, love, hate, lust, friendship, anger, sadness; anything and everything. Definitely you will be vulnerable but trust me it’s worth it because you’re not going to lose in any case. Either you experience tremendous joy or you learn. Also stop playing blame games, live for yourself and you are responsible for all that is happening in your life. Take responsibility for it and Live. Laugh. Love.
Hope you have a smile on your face as you finish reading this! 😀

Last Chapter

So, December is here and I feel like taking a break from Poetry and share some thoughts. We all have just a few days left to write the most beautiful chapter of 2014. For me, this year has been a roller coaster ride but I’m not here to describe that ride. All I got to say is give one last lookback to this year. Make amends, learn from your mistakes, and do what you feel like because if you keep waiting for the right time, it won’t ever come. It’s here and now. Write the final chapter with full of enthusiasm and carefree attitude because time and tide wait for none. Go ahead and make history. Because if you do this now, I’m telling you my readers that you’d experience pure bliss. Looking forward to a new life and a new beginning with 2015 just few days away! Have fun people. 😀

Shell we take a dive? Shore!

I tried writing a poem about it, but then, poetry requires talent, and vocabulary. Alas! what do I have but my poor words. While reading “A Short History of Nearly Everything” (which, by the way, is in my list of must-reads), I came upon an excerpt which loosely mentioned whales. Now, any average bibliophile would vouch for the fact that sometimes you get so absorbed by the book that you are transported to a different realm altogether (did somebody say “clichĂ©?”), elevated in thoughts and visions, effected by the written word. And Bill Bryson makes you feel very insignificant when he puts you and the universe to scale, and then adds the “possibility of life elsewhere” to the mix. Insignificant and enlightened.

In my this state of  suspension I was struck by a thought. What if we weren’t human at all? What if we were the largest thing alive. What if we were whales?

Now close your eyes for a minute and remember those swimming sessions. Let your mind be swarmed by water as you see yourself diving in and out of the pool. BUT THERE IS NO POOL! Because, sir, your humongous body can not fit in a pool. Your highness is only fit for an ocean! 

How would it have been?

I would have liked the freedom, although for a little while. No stupid money to earn, eat all you want brunches for free all your life, parents only expecting you to grow bigger and fatter (If my parents wanted that from me, they had already be the happiest parents in the world!). We are expected to be the masters of our own fate, but are we?

Bogged down by numerous obligations, we seldom live a life we want to. What an irony, we could have had more freedom as creatures lower than us in mental stature (no offence to wildlife activists! I don’t mean it like that).

I know it’s a stupid thought and I am going to get laughed at, but do I care? I am happy to be the master of my own actions for one fleeting moment.

Because We are All Made of Starstuff

I was (one of the) topper(s) in my sweet little school, until 4th standard. Plump, pink and successful, I could have easily been the youngest playboy in the world, adored by female creatures of all age, sizes and species. But life, as I knew it, changed when I joined a new school. I failed in half my subjects in the first cycle tests in this new school. And as it turned out, it was difficult being a playboy once you grow up, specially when you are still plump, and unsuccessful. My earlier school was an average institution, with no emphasis on spoken/written English. That is what pulled me down in this new place.

Eventually my performance in other subjects improved a little, but in English I could never do well. I did not know how to form sentences or to express as I would have wanted to. And conversing in English was an another story altogether, I just couldn’t manage to speak more than four words consecutively. Then two years later I made friends with a guy who had a thing for books. He would read 4 books in a week on an average and had a large collection (which only grew with time). As we came closer (okay this sounds gay), his book-reading habits rubbed on to me.

I made full use of his collection and our school library. I had no lack of sources and supplies, which I exploited to my heart’s content. Our school librarian and I shared the same ancestral village and I was still plump (it works with teachers even if you are 80 year old). She would issue three, sometimes four, books on my library card and many times I would get books even without a card, which means an instant death penalty if caught, by school standards. I had to keep my mouth shut and smuggle away those books discreetly.

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